Episode 11: Family vs. Career for Women - Liting Liu

In this new episode, we invited Liting Liu to share with us her stories about the pressure that women experience in the workplace, family, and society due to pregnancy, family duties, and other’s expectations. A major topic we covered is related to unequal job opportunities for men and women in the Chinese labor market, especially when females are rejected because of their gender identity.

Furthermore, we talked about how women are constantly urged to get married by their family, Liting’s opinion on the real meaning of gender equality and the ways to achieve it. By highlighting Liting’s experience on these subjects, we hope to connect women from different backgrounds who have faced the same issues and help you better understand gender and social issues in contemporary Chinese society.

Liting Liu is a graduate student studying journalism and communication science at Tsinghua University. She is also a United Nations intern as well as a mother. Before applying to Tsinghua, she has been working in large enterprises like MeituPic(美图秀秀), which is one of the most popular image editing apps used in China, and her work was mainly connected with media, brand building, and publicity management.

Highlights

2:12 How to balance family and studies?

Actually, it’s impossible. You’ll find out that it’s extremely hard when you experience it. One’s energy is limited.

4:05 What kind of problems does a single mom face? What is the most difficult thing?

After a divorce, you may worry that you won't be able to provide a better companionship for your child, or that your child may face discrimination in the future.

5:30 What was your family’s reaction when you decided to divorce?

In fact, my family’s attitude was quite interesting. For example, my ex-husband’s parents would unconditionally defend him, but my parents would blame, criticize, or even demand me instead.

7:45 Urged to get married and pressure after marriage

Chinese parents urge their children to get married in a very exaggerated way. When you are studying in high-school, they stop you from having relationships. But when you are in college, they will say: “Hurry up and find someone. It’ll be even better for you to get your university diploma and marriage certificate at the same time.”

10:47 Is it difficult for women to find a job?

You’ll have more advantages in finding a job as a married woman with a child. But it is very difficult to get a job unmarried or married but without a child.

11:20 Did you have any negative experiences in the workplace when you were pregnant?

I went to one company for a job interview. The boss told me that if I want to get a manager’s job position, I can’t get pregnant for at least two years. I agreed because I didn’t think too much. However, I didn’t know that I was already pregnant at that time. In the last month of my pregnancy, I discussed with my boss whether I could come back after three months of maternity leave. He said that many female employees don’t come back to work after giving birth and then he directly told me: “You can just quit.”

13:15 Taking care of a child and applying for a master’s degree at the same time

I have to be responsible for my child after giving birth to him. At that time I wasn’t only taking care of the baby, but also doing housework. After finishing housework at 12 p.m., I would start studying until 3 or 4 a.m. and then get up really early the next day.

16:05 Did you have postpartum depression?

I think that I’m a really strong individual, but I was extremely scared when I got to the delivery room. After giving birth, everyone would come to you and make you try different weird things that will make you have a breakdown. Also, everyone’s attention is on the child and you are often neglected. 

19:40 What does a new mom need the most?“Disappeared” father-in-law, mother-in-law, and nanny

I think it’s a husband’s understanding and support. 

22:10 Social prejudice against women. Does equality really exist?

There is a big gap between male and female applicants for the same position. The company may give preference to a man, even if his abilities are not good enough. But a girl with better abilities won’t be necessarily accepted.

24:15 “There is no gender equality as long as there are biological differences”?

It’s not an objective statement. First, we have to recognize the problem’s existence and then design solutions for solving current problems instead of saying that women should suffer from inequality. 

27:18 Liting’s advice

When you are in a strong position, you need to be respectful and courteous to others. When you are in a weak position, you need to encourage yourself more.